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How to Say I Love You

Added on August 5th 2010, in category Love


Although many people use this powerful phrase loosely, there are times when you want to say "I love you" in a meaningful way. Whether you're professing your love to a romantic partner or expressing it to a relative or friend, it can be difficult to convey how much they really mean to you. But by keeping the following suggestions in mind, hopefully your love will not only be understood, but it will also be welcomed and returned.

Step by step instructions to say i love you

  1. 1
    Define love. The sincerity of the phrase is strengthened by knowing what love is, and what loving someone means to you. Determine the difference between love, infatuation and lust, and make sure it's genuine love that you feel for this person.
  2. 2
    Make it special. For many people, dropping the "I" allows the sentiment to be expressed casually, such as before separating (e.g. "Time to go. Bye! Love you!"). Using the full phrase, however, can be reserved for more intimate moments, especially during a special event, such as when a child is just born, or even to reassure someone when bad news has been received or during moments of cherished silence, like after a kiss.
  3. 3
    Make eye contact. If you love this person, hopefully you feel comfortable enough to gaze into their eyes when you express your feelings. Making eye contact shows sincerity and communicates trust. Even though there are probably a few inches between your faces, it should feel like there is nothing between yourselves, not even air. The amount you can say "I love you" with your eyes is astonishing.
  4. 4
    Say it at an appropriate tone. If you're at home and there's not much background noise, keep your volume low; don't whisper unless you bring your lips to their ear, which can also be a very intimate way to express your love. If you want to tell them how you feel in public, it's up to you whether you want to pull the person aside, or say it in front of friends or even strangers. It depends on your loved one's personality, and your own personality. Some will find it terribly romantic to be told they're loved across a room full of people; others may find it mortifying.
  5. 5
    Smile. It can be nerve-wracking to tell someone that you love him or her, only to wait anxiously for their response--especially if it's the first time either of you have verbally expressed love. The best way to overcome this fear is to not expect the phrase in return. Your intention can be to tell the person how you feel, with the hope of making them happy and showing them that they are valued. Remember that unconditional love means not demanding anything in return. So smile, and perhaps give your loved one a hug. If they love you, too, they'll say it in their own way and in their own time.
  6. 6
    Be creative. Say it in different languages. Write it into a poem or even a haiku. If you want to be romantic, spell it out with rose petals on his or her bedroom floor. Write it in code, like a Vigènere cipher. Say it in little ways, like post-it notes in unexpected places, and express it in every way you can.
  7. 7
    Love. Don't just say it, do it. Saying "I love you" without showing it is, in a way, a lie. Express your love in action as well as in words.

Tips / good to know

  • Holding someone's hand as you tell them you love them can also communicate sincerity and trust, but it can also convey a sense of subterfuge, which at a glance may suffice but will quickly be sniffed out by someone with a careful eye for lies; ergo, do not hold hands if you don't mean it.
  • Love is expressed differently by everyone. Be understanding and look for your partner's ways of expressing it to you; they may not be the same as what you do or what you want them to do, but in turn you may not be doing the things they want and they should look for your way.
  • If your interest is not in the other person, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not love. If you have no intention of improving that person?s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, rather than not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them.

Things you'll need


  • If love is unrequited, you need to be understanding and be caring towards the feelings of the object of your desire. At least they now know how you feel. It is not good to bottle up your feelings.
  • Saying "I love you" in the heat of passion for the first time might not be a good idea, as the person may question the sincerity of your pledge. Follow them up with actions of kindness.
  • The words "I love you" can lose their meaning in a relationship if not paired with action.
  • Do not use the words "I love you" to cover up something you did wrong, or to resolve a conflict. Learn How to Apologize.
  • Don't overdo it, your loved one can get bored or feel as if it means nothing to you. Say it to your loved one when the times are right.

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